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controlling premature ejaculation: what is PE?
Premature ejaculation occurs when a man reaches orgasm and ejaculates too quickly and without control. In other words, ejaculation occurs before a man wants it to happen. It may occur before or after beginning foreplay or intercourse. Some men experience a lot of personal distress because of this condition.
It's one of the commonest of all sexual problems. Recently, we did a survey of several thousand British males, and approximately 10 per cent of them said that they 'often' or 'sometimes' had this trouble. We found that it's commoner in younger men - which is not surprising, as there's a distinct tendency for it to improve with age. Men generally get better control as they grow older. However, a 2004 survey in Europe showed that middle-aged men still have this problem. Fortunately, good treatments are available.
Premature ejaculation has been defined as persistent or recurrent ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation before, during, or after intromission and before the patient wishes it. There have been a number of psychological approaches to treatment, though we could not find any papers that defined the effectiveness of these approaches.
Men with PE have a lack of ejaculatory control, which can cause psychological distress among men who suffer from it. Likewise, partners of men with premature ejaculation express dissatisfaction with the timing of ejaculation, and may also experience reduced self-esteem and sexual pleasure. (read more on controlling premature ejaculation)
More on controlling premature ejaculation
There's no medical standard for how long it should take a man to ejaculate. The primary sign of premature ejaculation is ejaculation that occurs before both partners wish in the majority of sexual encounters, causing distress for one or both partners. The problem can occur in all sexual situations, including masturbation, or may only occur during sexual encounters with another person.
Ejaculation is a reflex that, once a certain level of stimulation is reached, is automatic. Controlling the ejaculatory reflex requires that the man be able to recognize and regulate the amount of stimulation he is experiencing so that he does not reach the level that will trigger the ejaculatory reflex before he wants to.
A premature ejaculation CURE (different approach) provides you with the physical and psychological discipline that can be applied for an eternity. A CURE is usually obtained through more clinical approaches for dealing with premature ejaculation (i,e. therapy, hypnotherapy, mental and physical conditioning).
Finally, there's no question that anxiety plays a part in many cases of premature ejaculation. If you're nervous, you're likely to come too quickly. That's why many males have discovered for themselves that a small amount of alcohol eases their nerves and makes them less likely to climax prematurely. But we wouldn't recommend alcohol as a treatment!
controlling premature ejaculation
Squeeze Methods: this method involves either the man or his partner squeezing (fairly firmly) the end or the tip of the penis for 10 to 20 seconds when ejaculation is imminent, withholding stimulation for about 30 seconds, then continuing stimulation. This can be repeated until ejaculation is desired. The stop and start method can be used with the squeeze method as well.
The knowledge of normal male and female sexual responses prior to engaging in sexual activity may be helpful in preventing premature ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation should never be a problem for a considerate lover. A man is usually satisfied after he reaches a climax. If he reaches it before she does and doesn't help her to reach one also, he's inconsiderate whether he climaxes in 2 seconds or 5 hours. Most women take more than 20 minutes to climax with conventional penile-vaginal contact and only 4 minutes when they stimulate themselves because women know more about women than men do.
The stop-start method involves the partner stimulating the man's penis, except that when the man instructs, the partner stops stimulating the man's penis before ejaculation becomes inevitable. Then as he feels he regains control, he instructs the partner to begin stimulating his penis again. This procedure is repeated three times before allowing the man to ejaculate on the fourth time. The couple repeats this exercise three times a week, until the man has good control, then they progress to stop-start with lubrication, and then intercourse with the woman on top and the man not moving. He again instructs her to stop moving when he senses he is losing control. The couple progresses over subsequent times to the having the man move, then side by side intercourse. Instead of stopping and starting, the couple may progress to merely slowing down to enable the man to regain control of his urge to ejaculate. The therapists counseling patients using this stop-start technique report a 90 percent success rate in delaying ejaculation. (read more on controlling premature ejaculation)
controlling premature ejaculation - Tips
Don't use drugs or alcohol. They're distracting and they interfere with the self-awareness crucial to learning ejaculatory control.
The program we recommend for learning ejaculatory control is very likely to provide your lover with greater sexual enjoyment, but not just because you last longer. Women generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented sensuality that includes the genitals but is not limited to them. Women's main complaints about men's sexual style are that it's too rushed, too mechanical, too eager for intercourse, and that it focuses only on the breasts and genitals. Women generally feel that the whole body is a sensual playground, and can't understand why so many men explore only a few corners of it. Like women, penises generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented lovemaking. The rushed, penis-centered, intercourse-fixated sex style puts a lot of pressure on the penis, and leads to premature ejaculation. But when men make love the way women prefer, whole-body arousal takes the pressure off your penis and you last longer. Basically, if men would make love the way women prefer, women would have fewer complaints, and men would have fewer sex problems.
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